'Living with the Dominator'

'Living with the Dominator' by Pat Craven is a fantastic book for anyone who wants to understand about domestic violence. It is full of illustrations and helps us to laugh as well as to cry.

Pat identified 8 different types of abusers and they do overlap. They are:

1 The Sexual Controller

2 King of the Castle

3 The Bad father

4 The Liar

5 The Persuader

6 The Headworker

7 The Jailer

8 The Bully

I would advise anyone to buy this book and there are refreshing looks at what an ideal partner should be like and stories to illustrate the points made.

The book is available from Amazon http://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Dominator-About-Freedom-Programme/dp/0955882702/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1284819787&sr=1-1

Pat is a very professional approachable lady and I owe her alot of thanks for all the work she has done. Her webpage is well worth a visit:
   http://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

Statistics that are shocking

Did you know that 1 in 5 women report being sexually abused as children?

It would be interesting to find out the statistics for males too, as we mustn't forget abuse does affect men too! Don't forget the adults might be abusing each other, but a child even witnessing it is also being abused. A child does not have to wear a black eye like this child; they will have emotional issues to deal with too. It's hard to see your parents beating each other, screaming at each other... STOP and think about them....

Every 2 minutes somewhere in America someone is sexually assaulted.

Domestic abuse/violence is a major problem throughout the world and it needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later. The UK is not as forward thinking like the USA and publishing books of personal experiences of domestic violence is rather neglected here in the UK. People who do write their stories end up having to self publish and of course the market is not as easily accessible as when publishers are used. I believe this problem is stemmed in the UK's upper lip syndrome and keeping things behind closed doors. The UK does have domestic violence and it is as prevalent as in the USA and Afghanistan, please publishers start pulling your fingers out and help the people who need it most.

In no country in the world are women safe from this type of violence. Out of ten counties surveyed in a 2005 study by the World Health Organization (WHO), more than 50 percent of women in Bangladesh, Ethiopia, Peru and Tanzania reported having been subjected to physical or sexual violence by intimate partners, with figures reaching staggering 71 percent in rural Ethiopia. Only in one country (Japan) did less than 20 percent of women report incidents of domestic violence. http://www.unifem.org/gender_issues/violence_against_women/facts_figures.php?page=2

Finally: If you live in Ireland and need help the NATIONAL FREEPHONE HELPLINE is 1800 341 900

Please spread this news and help too.

"Whose Face is in the Mirror?"

2,000 women are raped every week in the UK.

75% of all rape survivors know their attackers.

80% of all rapes occur in the home.

9 in 10 rape survivors are female.

'Whose Face is in the mirror?'

I have just read this book, written by Diane Schwartz. It was a compelling read, telling of the abuse she experienced and the process of breaking away from it. She also tells of her family background which has influenced her beliefs and how she changes it all to become a champion helper to other abusees. What is also incredible is the fact this lady used to be a model, so had confidence in her looks - or so you are led to believe. A fantastic read and one I would recommend to anyone who wants to learn about domestic violence and ways of escaping it.

If you are in the UK and need help escaping domestic violence, call the 24-hr helpline at 0808 2000 247.

Boys who witness their fathers' violence are 10 times more likely to engage in spouse abuse in later adulthood. (Domestic Violence Pixel Project Team - Twitter)

If you know anyone in an abusive relationship, be gentle and supportive and get professional advice from a group like Women's Aid. There are a number of webpages that can provide further contact details and I will start adding them on here for easy reference.