New Year’s Resolutions; I have read many comments about making these but for some perverse reason I do not make them. Through my healing process I have learnt not to set myself up for failure. If I wish to change something I don’t wait until a future day, I start there and then. I will try it out and if it works – fine, but if it doesn’t – “so what?” Does it mean the world will end? No. So why worry about it? I might try and assess why it didn’t work and see if there is another avenue to try, but as soon as I start to get upset or feel guilty, the thought process stops. Life is too short.
Some people make ‘To-Do Lists’, again be careful not to set yourself up for failure! There are only so many hours in the day to be able to do a set amount of jobs, so why make a list of 60 hours for a set 24 hours? If you don’t finish the list, it’s not the end of the world again! Look at the items you have completed and reward yourself for those: a simple cup of tea, a bath etc.
My memory was affected quite badly for a while after I left the abuse, so lists were very important, but I used them as an aide-memoir. I would give myself a star for each item and count the chart rather than look at the items I hadn’t done. My kids thought it was quite funny until I did similar charts for them - quite useful for homework, club activities etc. My favourite treat was to take a book and laze in the bath, I was lucky to have a mom who would look after the kids whilst I had my treat.
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