Birthdays

In the USA, 1 in 6 women experience attempted or complete rape sometime in their lives

In the USA, 1 in 33 men experience attempted or complete rape sometime in their lives

In Massachusetts, USA, 4,418 adolescents and adults are sexually assaulted each year -12 people each day - 1 every 2 hours

Recently I have written a lot about my 2nd ex, so for a change I thought I would refer to my 1st ex. Unfortunately the situation here is very different, in every way you can think. He is a very clever professional; an expert in his field. I have great admiration for this, but as a husband to me, it is the complete opposite. I state ‘as a husband to me,’ as he has remarried and to all intense and purposes they are happily married. Saying that, even today he is still trying to ‘control’ me, mainly with mind games. I have never been a keen or even a good chess player, so mind games to me is a non-starter. I do not understand it – the rules or even why you need to play them. It has been 11 years since we separated but things are still pretty raw in my mind, and he still manages to hurt me mentally now.

Birthdays have always been important to me – it’s family time. Something I have always been. On my 30th birthday, a day that was quite uneventful; no parties; no special present; ended up quietly with me going to bed early. He stayed downstairs and unable to sleep I called him a number of times to see if everything was alright. When he did come to bed he curled up with his back to me. Later I found out he had spent two and half hours talking over the phone to his mistress. A couple of years later I received some rather nasty court papers on my birthday – via my 1st ex. Another birthday, a row was started by my ex and upset all the family, another time my ex went out with his friends for the night. I have since stopped bothering about my own birthday – it’s just another day on the calendar.