Writer's name

I apologise in advance that I can not use my real name for this blog. The simple reason being I wish to protect the identity of innocent people, namely my children besides others. I believe the issues I will discuss can help others, which is my biggest desire - but confidentiality is my priority, so if my blogs seem vague with respect to names and areas, it is deliberate.
I have nothing to hide, no hidden secrets.

Saturday, 15 January 2011

Nothing or Everything?

80% of all rapes occur in the home

9 in 10 rape survivors are female

Most undetected rapists, are repeat rapists who on average commit 6 rapes each

99% of women survivors were raped by a male

85% of men survivors were raped by a male




The courts made an order against my 2nd ex, that he could not approach me in any form for 2 years – no communication – nothing! If he breached it, jail awaited him; something he did not want to revisit. However it was inevitable; living in the same area, that we would ‘see’ each other in the street. Like I have previously stated I tried to avoid places, even shopping in town. I was petrified of seeing him – pure and simple. The day I did literally bump into him was a Saturday afternoon. He just stared at me and carried on walking – no smile, no speech – nothing! I had imagined everything under the sun; that he would say or do in a negative manner and here it was – nothing! I continued on my way; trembling from head to toe, feeling sick. Nothing had happened; I didn’t feel relief, I was in shock, but the next time I saw him it was easier. It has got to such a point now that if I see him, I am anxious and alert – just in case.

Of course I am one of the lucky ones in this instant; there are others where further abuse has arisen – swearing; shouting; physical assault; or even worse the abuser has tried to wheedle their way into your lives.

You as an abused person will probably know what to expect; but be ready for the unexpected too. Try and stay strong; don’t let their control over you stop you living your life, step by step the control will cease and suddenly you will be as free as a bird.

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