5th type of Bancroft

On average a woman will be assaulted 35 times before reporting it to police.

30% of domestic violence starts or escalates during pregnancy.

San Antonio police responds to ~ 3,000 calls for domestic violence each month.

Over 42% of women are abused in Turkey.

5th  Category of Abusive Men as per Lundy Bancroft

Mr Sensitive!

This is what the abusive man thinks!

Mr Sensitive does not like real macho men, because of this he can not under any circumstances be abusive himself. He is usually softly spoken, gentle and supportive –when it suits him! He likes to talk about himself.

He will use a lot of psychological jargon, to throw you and others off the fact that he is abusing you.

He will psychologically analyse your problems, your emotions, childhood traumas and enter inside your mind – whether you want him to or not. You have no choice; he is in control, not you.

The abuser’s feelings are more important than anything else, even your feelings. Everything revolves around his feelings. If your feelings are hurt, it doesn’t mean anything and it will be ignored.

Mr Sensitive will also make you believe, like him, that all women should be grateful to him for being so sensitive unlike those macho men.

Common statements he might make:

“You’ve hurt my feelings.”


“You don’t care for me.”


“We need to work out our problems.”


“Why are you upset? I am upset and you don’t think anything about it.”


Please note this is how an abuser thinks, it does not in any way mean that it is the right way to think or behave. Here I have tried to give you examples so that you can recognise the types of abuse that goes on.  If you recognise these things, please get help, talk to a friend, a Domestic Violence Organisation. You can find them on the web, telephone books, or if you are totally stuck go to the police and they will point you in the right direction.

My 1st ex was a little like this, a very emotional man and would cry because someone was nasty to him. He would like to look at our problems, but would make it sound like it was my fault. He loved to play mind games and manipulate the situation to suit himself. If things seemed to be going against him, he would then put the water works on and play the innocent victim.